Poem: Newton’s 3 laws of Wedding

I am assuming each one of you reading this poem have cleared 6th standard examination.If not, then you will not understand some portions of it. Anyway, this poem goes back to India in 1980’s-1990’s era, where weddings were still arranged by elders in the family. In earlier days, boy and girl were not even allowed to see each other before fixing their marriages. This trend has changed a lot today when they can talk very freely before arriving on any decision. But in this poem, a mathematician, who agreed to tie the knot under pressure faced a dilemma. He was in those days of India, where you are able to see each other but cannot talk. As a mathematician, he designed a plan based on observation and calculation to figure out his soulmate. This is the story of the mathematician. This poem has been recited at ‘Formula Verse’ event organized by Let Poetry Be group, Bengaluru.

Title: Newton’s 3 Laws of Wedding

Life can never be an exception
As despite being inert element of family table
I managed to grab Sir Issac Newton’s attention
I soon learn, the reality of ‘sabus’ anger

When saying ‘No’ for wedding to my mother
has triggered thousand of nuclear explosion
In her words, “this is not a compulsion”
But only a next element in your life’s arithmetic progression

Driving well on the highway called ‘bachelor life’
Silently, Newton’s 1st law of wedding entered with a drag of repulsion
Under the force of commitment, my life’s velocity decelerated
Looking at my condition, has anyone in the scientific community disintegrated?

After my surrender, function of matchmaking has been formulated
With variable such as height, beauty, education were well coordinated
Finding no place for my own interest & expression
How will such function find a suitable wife with perfection?

Anyway, floods of information soon began to arrive
Without MATLAB, we could not have survived
Instead of differential equations, we used pascal triangle
Putting Limit n tends to perfection to this function only brought bizzare conclusion

When Probability theory too failed to bring any respite
A 6th standard cheating trick lit a ray of light
function of wedding broken into dozens of quadratic equations
with determinants>=0 equations were only taken for further consideration

Finally the day of experimentation has arrived
From equation of circle to similar triangle analogies
Today every mathematical genius is going to surprise
I sat 20 meters from her with paper and pen
To drive all those equation with my own hand

Her footsteps made a perfect arithmetic progression
Diameter of her eyes instantly caught my attention
so much that, 4 tangents of attraction easily drew without any calibration
Thus, even from a distance equation of circle has been verified

But before thinking further, it was necessary to use some geometrical insight
Angle of her nose with height looked just as mine
With similar triangle analogy, finally physical compatibility has also been verified.
And cross checking with Pythagoras theorem, I found my soulmate sitting in front of my eyes

Emotions started to flow so freely on the sea of logic
Then even, Archimedes began to laugh on the validity of his logic
Newton’s 2nd law of wedding started to roll
With force of attraction only multiplied due to our separation

My heart fell for her just like a projectile motion
Looking at this powerful attractive force
Newton’s 3rd law of wedding came into equation
which is, every attraction creates equal and opposite repulsion

Her eyes and smile failed to cross my mother’s orbital line
Losing one more electron like a free bird
just caused a lot of electrostatic repulsion
Stuck in the fight of polarity, I used all my pseudo force to bring a pact of neutrality

Finally, Einstein came from his grave to my rescue
Before, I came to conclusion of this wedding chaos
Let me say good bye by saying
love can neither be created nor be destroyed

(Disclaimer: This poem was written purely to entertain people and explain difficult physics laws in an easier manner. This artistic work, in no way, intends to harm or dishonor the work of great scientists and their vividly applied innovations in our day to day life.)


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